YOUTH AND OLD AGE
In my opinion, the biggest advantage we had growing up
was to have our maternal grandparents with us at home. When my dad passed away,
they were like a buffer, shielding us all as much as possible from all further
hurt.
Joint families were the norm in India. Children grew up
as naturally as the leaves on a tree as cousins bonded, enjoying the love and
nurturing of many sets of parents. There was no spoiling or pampering. Everyone
ate the same kind of food with absolutely no fuss. Finicky eaters learnt to eat
faster as they did not want to be left out of the fun later. Little falls and
bruises were ignored. There was no question of special treats because there
were too many mouths to feed.
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The biggest advantage was that children grew up with
fewer complexes, secure in the love of the whole family. Besides, there was so
much of good sense and moral, values that came down to them from the elders in
the family. This strengthens the idea that the old and new generations can not
only live together, but be good for each other.
Today, with most families having opted to go nuclear, and
where both parents need to earn a living, children are often left to their own
devices. (Pun intended!) Children often get dependent on social media to the
exclusion of everything else. The other danger is that parents feel so guilty
about not having enough time for their children that they indulge them in every
way possible, which could turn the latter into self-centred brats, unable to
withstand any opposition when it comes to their demands.
Adobe Stock
Often, an elder in
the family can offer the right solution, but of course, it is possible that the
older one is, the less one is in touch with the younger generation, which has a
mind and a half of its own.
The only way to survive gracefully is to meet each other halfway. Gone are the days when elders could command and force their opinions down their children’s throats. Diplomacy is the key word today, in a world where the young have travelled far beyond to realms which their predecessors never even imagined could exist. Another key word is communication, a word that can help bridge the generation gap.
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We see that progress here when Zo and Sam speak on topics
beyond our understanding, be it music and musicians, new cartoon and anime characters
and books that are all the rage. If we sat in our ivory tower and sulked, that
would go against us. Hence, we try and involve ourselves in their interests and
find ourselves evolving as well. Never do we talk down to them. Children are perspicacious
and know exactly when adults are trying to bulldoze their way through or acting high and
mighty.
So, I sit down and play with them games that they love,
while they pick up the games that I have always enjoyed. Nana talks to them
about basketball and netball, and the ways to grow stronger muscles. (Always a
good idea to nudge that topic in when they are eating!)
In all my years of teaching I have learnt a couple of
things.
1.
Never talk down to children. Treat them
according to their age, and do not use baby talk. They can speak coherently and
sensibly. So why curb those sensibilities?
2.
Use the Mutt and Jeff method of dealing with
them. Be firm when required, and be friendly at all other times. There is no
harm in reformative punishment, but it should be appropriate.
3.
Never hurt their feelings or belittle them in
any way, physically or emotionally. They need to feel that the world is a
wonderful place and that they have their own place in the sun. Every child has
his or her own qualities which make them blossom. Water those qualities.
4.
Turn into a child when you are with them. Be
silly, let your hair down and have fun. These moments are precious. When you
unbend, they will also open up to you. A bit of horseplay never goes astray.
5.
Above all, treat them as individuals. Do not
compare them to anyone else because that can be extremely damaging.
6. Show them you love them in as many ways as you can.
We know that we have had our chance to be parents to P. Today, when we watch her being a parent to Zo and Sam, it amazes us… the way she walks the tightrope of being a disciplinarian and a friend. P herself feels that she is a strict parent. However, we watch those moments when she tickles them, teases them, dances with them to their favourite songs, pulls their leg and plays games with them… moments punctuated with giggles, laughs, tickles and cuddles.
The next moment, she tells them off when they fight with each other and they know that she is not joking any more. As she puts it, “I am the strict one and V is the fun one, especially because I am the one at home with them.” P works from home and hence, spends many more hours with them. Of course, V has his strict moments as well, but those are rarer, and hence, maybe fiercer.
Vecteezy
All said and done, we have a lot of fun together as a family.
I am participating in the #BlogchatterA2ZChallenge2025.
https://deepties.blogspot.com/2025/04/youth-and-old-age.html
What a beautiful piece capturing the evolving dance between generations—filled with warmth, reflection, and a quiet wisdom that feels both nostalgic and timely.
ReplyDelete“The only way to survive gracefully is to meet each other halfway.”- This line stands out because it sums up the main idea in a clear and gentle way. It shows that both young and old need to understand and respect each other to live happily together. It's simple, wise, and easy to remember.