No crying, please, boys!

The public message on television says it all too clearly! The camera pans on a little boy's face, a little boy who has tears running down his cheeks. The reasons may be galore - either he has been bullied by somebody, or he has fallen and hurt himself. Maybe his friends didn't want him to play with them! Or it could be a deeper hurt - his father has walked out on him and his mother. Or his pet has just died and his tender heart is breaking!

Whatever the reason, the message is, 99 times out of a 100, the same. "Don't cry! You're not a girl!" and "What's wrong with you? Don't you know that only girls cry?" "How dare you be a namby-pamby?" Parents repeat this like a litany, classmates enforce it, and the world turns into a war zone, with emotions battling it out with attitudes that refuse to ever change.

It is said that most of a child's learning takes place at his mother's knee. And if mothers reinforce the above message, their little boys grow up, ashamed to cry and to show their emotions. However miserable they feel, they maintain a stoic exterior, having learnt to keep their chins up and "to take it like a man", much like in the British public schools of yore. "Hey, old chap, don't be a ninny! And don't let the other blokes catch you crying!"

The public message goes on to show how the little boys grow into big strong men, who refuse to cry. They swagger around like heroes, not realizing how bad it is for their hearts to bottle up their emotions. For the heart is like a pressure cooker that explodes when it is subjected to too much pressure! This is why men are more prone to heart attacks than women are.

But the public message does not end there. There are times when all those emotions play havoc with the emotions of loved ones as well. The message continues to show shots of a battered woman, her face all bruised, sitting in abject depression, finally glancing at the man who has done this to her, a strong man who knows not how to cry, a big man whose emotions are all churned up within him, a relentless man who does not know where to stop. If only he had been allowed to cry, allowed to be more human and humane!

Happily, the final statement says it all. "A real man is not one who does not cry, but one who does not make women cry!" A real man respects women, and does not abase them. A real man can be tender and loving, not harsh and judgmental. A real man is allowed to cry and show his emotions!    

Now that makes sense, doesn't it?

Happy International Women's Day!

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY! 

Let’s throw those clichés away today! And for all the wonderful, caring men around, (I have a few in my family as well!) this post is a pat on your backs!

For the rest:

Don’t stereotype women by hemming them into the multiple roles they play – great- grandmother, grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, daughter and granddaughter!

Why is there a woman behind every successful man, not alongside him, shoulder to shoulder? A hand held out is worth all the nudges on your back!

Do not portray mothers as self-sacrificing? The sacrifices come straight from the heart; little joys and sorrows that are part and parcel of bringing up a child. Look upon them as the rungs of a ladder.

Why do sisters need to step aside for their brothers? Let them do so if they want to, and not because they have been forced to! Brothers can be wonderful human beings too, if you peep into their psyches.

Why does outer beauty define a woman? Tell her she is beautiful within, and that is all that matters. Facades are mere facades, after all; the worth lies within.

A daughter can often turn into an advisor and a pillar; don’t be surprised when she does don these roles. Age has nothing to do with wisdom, and I talk from experience.

Let the men in your lives praise, not patronize; love, not judge; let them hold your hands to maintain their balance as well, and not just to prop you up.

Women are emotionally stronger than men. True, but give them a chance to refrain from being emotional superwomen all the time.  

For all the wonderful women who celebrate Women’s Day today:

Take a deep breath and smell the roses and the fresh earth.

Be whimsical, impractical, silly, flamboyant, not-in-control, adventurous, irreverent and downright funny!

You only live once... don’t take the burden of the world on your own shoulders. Distribute the weight around.

Wear rose-coloured spectacles, crack terrible jokes, laugh with your family, let there be dust in the corners of your homes, once in a while... you never know, it might just be fairy dust!

Above all, keep that wellspring of love within you going strong, like a coffee percolator! It only grows stronger every time you use it!

Birds of Prey - Archana Sarat

“A person who does not protect a child doesn’t deserve to live.”

The cover speaks volumes... a fluffy white bird that sits on a fragile branch, unaware of the sharp black talons that hover over it, the threat clearly perceptible against a blood-red background. You are all set to delve into a tale that is stark and unvarnished, but ‘Birds of Prey’, published by Readomania, is more gritty and raw than your wildest expectations.

At one level, the book is a fast-paced thriller that digs into the underbelly of the city of Mumbai. Ex-ACP Anton Pinto, who is living a life of sedate retirement “fishing, eating, drinking”, is unwillingly dragged into a high-profile case that points to the disappearance of men from wealthy families. He promises his wife that he would only assist in the case, and not involve himself in the actual ground work.

However, even before he knows it, he is in the thick of things, starting his investigation from the prestigious Prism International School, which has forty schools under its banner. Startling facts come to light, as the disappearances continue, and he traces an inexplicable connection between them and a strange, old lady with a limp.

Slowly the facts are dug up as Anton speaks to various people, piecing together a story of child abuse, incest, horrific brutality and immense suffering, a story that wrings the heart and leaves the reader with a deep ache.

Archana Sarat is a superb chronicler. She tells her story simply, but graphically, and that is where the second layer of the story emerges, a layer that horrifies the reader, a story that is played out in many a home under the nose of the authorities. Her characters live and breathe, and remain in the readers’ minds even after they shut the book.

Verdict: A book that, once read, can never be ignored, or forgotten!

Knitted Tales – A Collection of Emotions by Rubina Ramesh

If you want to read stories that are akin to a cup of tea, comforting and familiar, tales that will fill your heart with nuances of romance and joy, ‘Knitted Tales – A Collection of Emotions’ by the talented Rubina Ramesh  is not for you. These stories sear and sizzle; they portray harsh realities and forbidden themes that are normally swept under the carpet. They leave out the trappings and tell only the truth. Rubina Ramesh does not believe in candy floss and tinsel, at least not in her debut collection of short stories, which, in my opinion, need to be explored, if only to show the dazzling variety of topics that Rubina has touched upon.

1.      A Secret in Their Closet:

“Cruel hands were holding her down, smothering her... maybe she could pretend to be dead and then these monsters would leave her alone.” What is the mystery behind ten-year old Payal’s nightmares? How do Satya and Anjali deal with the trauma their daughter is going through? This is a tale that touches the heart and horrifies, in turns.

2.      Betrayal:

An assortment of events is seen through the eyes of Sudesh, who feels betrayed by his wife, Shweta. As the story progresses, the reader goes though myriad emotions, till the horrifying denouement, which he does not see coming.

3.      Chiclets:

This story is reminiscent of a popular story by Leo Tolstoy in which children are portrayed as more mature than their elders. How does Sunaina tackle the bullying of her classmates in school? How real is the menace of racism in the US? The subject is treated with the grace and sympathy that it deserves.

4.      Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned:

A letter from his past stops Abhijeet from letting the dilemma of his past ruin his future. Who is his harbinger of trust, the one person who makes him believe in himself again? Speaking of past loss that ends on a note of hope in the future, this is one of the stories that stands apart theme-wise, from the others.

5.      Lolita:

The beautiful Lolita is the unattainable dream of many, the heartthrob of a nation, the one who wields power gleaned from the weaknesses of men. What is her weakness, her vulnerability, and the memories that are like “the unwanted dandelions in a garden”? The author dwells within the mind of a unapologetic protagonist, who has been crafted in a cruel world!

6.      No Regrets:

Raima and Arvind live a mundane life in the US, but does the latter know what his wife really wants? How does the presence of a third person bring back the spark, ensuring that there are no regrets left? An intriguing account with a trace of mischief, almost!

7.      SuvarnaRekha

Poignant and hard-hitting, this story tells of the trials and tribulations faced by lovers of the Kharia tribe, a seer tribe who is believed to be able to “play with spirits”. Does true love finally win over the orthodoxy of the tribal heads? In a world that’s fast-changing, there are, sadly, still pockets within our country that remain tethered to the past. As a result, this story comes as a contrast in its treatment.

8.      The Little Godmother:

Arunee‘s whole life changes when a new person comes into her life, and turns it upside down. Is it possible to see the two sides of a coin, and decide which one you want to see? The little Godmother is a story of the spiralling emotions of a young girl, told perceptively and with feeling.

9.       The Missing Staircase:

This is one of the best-crafted stories in the whole collection, as Christie comes back home to her grandfather, to a home of which she had such fond memories. The descriptions of childhood, vibrant memories, ambitions that took her away from home and confessions, sitting on that very staircase, make it heart-warming and joyful. The ending is a shocker, but takes away nothing from the beauty of the narration.

10.  The Other Woman:

Aru, a young girl secure in the love of her parents, finds out a bitter truth about her parents’ marriage when her grandmother lands up and makes accusations against her mother. This story paints a picture of modern marriages, but softens the harshness and the heartbreak through its sympathetic narration.

11.  Daddy, Hear Me Out

Jaspreet tackles the bugbear of examinations, breaking away from her timidity and lack of confidence, as she receives a message from a higher being. A saga that is replayed in the lives of our students, and will do so as long as marks and examinations remain paramount as a testimony of success.

12.  Cliff Notes:

 This moving tale talks of how human beings, who should be brothers under the skin, cheat and harm one another, while Mother Nature plays the role of benefactor. It works beautifully as the closing story in a collection of tales that leave the reader with “thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.”

Rubina Ramesh reveals that she is not easily influenced by other literary minds, as she pens down her thoughts in a style that is unquestionably her own. There is no doubt that a sequel would be a good idea.

Letters from the Past

Today I opened a very special bundle of letters, a bundle that took me back to my childhood and left me with a choked throat and moist eyes. They were in a little red cardboard box, spilling out almost as if they were keen to escape their confines and reach out to my heart.

How did they get to me, these little missives that I had written so long ago, little, forgotten scraps that had stayed on like indelible ink, smudged and precious?

My latest book ‘Shadow in the Mirror’ was launched in October this year and what made it extra special was my mother landing up without warning, to wrap her eldest offspring with her love and blessings. She spoke a few words about me, and then handed over the red box, which, she said, defined me as a person.

Life went by and today, as I was looking for something else, I came across this precious offering. Fortifying myself with a cup of green tea, I sat down and proceeded to take a trip into the past.

The first thing I laid eyes on was a letter that was written by my paternal grandparents to my mother when she was expecting me. My stern grandfather, who was the Headmaster of the boys’ school he had founded, was a man of few words. But his words sparkled on paper. “This is the time for you to cultivate the habit of entertaining such feelings and thoughts as you wish to see in the next generation.”

My grandmother had written down many apt slokas in Malayalam along with their English translations that, she suggested, would bring peace and serenity to my mother in the months to come.

Next came a letter written by a much younger me, with just a few words in a handwriting that still retained its baby curves. One line stood out in particular as I asked my father how long he would have to stay in Bangla Desh. Today I know that he was posted in Dhaka, the old Dacca, during the 1971 war, and I was blissfully unaware of the trauma my mother must have gone through in Bangalore with her three young children.

As I read on, memories assailed me as letters dropped into my lap, from my father, my mother and my grandparents. They spoke of many things, but centred around me, my health, my studies, my reading and my achievements. I recalled those days when I had been sent to my grandparents when I was in the 9^th and the 10^th because my Army father had been posted to a place which had no proper schools.

How my heart swelled when I read each wonderful missive and realized how much I was loved. There were letters from my grandmother to my parents, assuring them that I had settled down well, and that I was concentrating on my studies (something which I had never taken seriously before that!) 

One letter that zapped me was one in which my grandmother had obviously shown my horoscope to an astrologer who had predicted certain things, back in 1975. “Deepti also has a bright future in studies, and definitely a happy married life also. She will complete her studies (even her Post Graduate course) by 21 or 22. She will or may have a chance to go to foreign countries in her married life.”  Of course, it was after this that I shocked my grandparents and my teachers by refusing to take up Science, and opting for Humanities instead. The rest of the prophecies came true in due course of time. (I can see my better half heaving a sigh of relief!)

Words abounded, and I smiled when I read my own replies. “I am glad to see that N is now becoming a good girl!” (a reference to my little sister!) There was one particular tongue-in-cheek message that I had written to both my sisters. “I am very happy to hear that both of you are doing well at school. I am glad you have taken my advice (not to follow my example.)”

There were various references to friends, family members and our pet cocker spaniel, TANSI, the name we had got from the acronym for Tamil Nadu Small Industries.  “Has TANSI come up with anything or was it a false alarm?” (A reference to a probable litter.)

I smiled when I read what I had written to my sister about a certain friend who had been quite a pest. “Yes, I did tell  T that I would murder him. I only need an excuse! Haha!”

There were constant references to the brats. “Tell the brats to write. You know, N has developed a nice style of writing of her own. Her letters tend to get very amusing and I do enjoy skimming through them. I do laugh over B’s scrawls too, haha!”

And as I came to the end of my journey into the past, my eyes fell on one last letter which I had written to my father who was then posted in Bombay. “I am sad that we will not be able to come along with Amma to Bombay this time. But you can have a second honeymoon.”  This was in December 1978, and my sisters and I were to go to Bombay and spend our summer vacations with our father in May and June.

Unfortunately, that never did happen, as, on the 29^th of January, 1979, he suffered a massive cardiac arrest and succumbed to it.

 As I closed the little red box that had captured so many memories so beautifully, and awakened my mind to a past that had been so precious, I knew that, yet again, here was a reason to thank my lovely mother, all over again. Not just for the red box and the bundle it carried, but for her thoughtfulness in compiling little pieces of my life together, and for handing my life back to me yet again.

Mock, Stalk & Quarrel - Author's Interview: Ranjan Kaul

Mock, Stalk & Quarrel is a collection of 29 satirical stories, penned by prolific writers and bestselling authors, that attempt to mock, question, defy, and raise a voice against issues that matter. The stories were chosen from a nationwide contest conducted by Readomania and compiled in this collection that promises to be an engaging and thought-provoking read. For more about the book and the authors, head to the Facebook page of Mock, Stalk & Quarrel. The book has made an amazing entry at no 29 on Amazon. 

Book Link: Amazon

http://www.amazon.in/Mock-Stalk-Quarrel-Collection-Satirical/dp/9385854267?ie=UTF8&ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_dp_eh.myb1SS289A

Author Interview:

1.         How would you describe yourself in one line?

Humanist, creative fiction writer, artist

2.      After four decades of experience in publishing, how did you find the shift over to writing?

      I am enjoying every moment of it. I finally have the space and time to work at my own pace without the stresses of a full-time job.

3.      Do tell your readers about the books you have written. How did your story in MSQ come about?

     I have written two books, a novel and a collection of stories. The novel, Through the Forest, Darkly, is a depiction of the betrayal of love and humanistic ideals; it portrays the seemingly irreconcilable divides in our society that at times lead us to violence and cruelty. A substantial portion of the book is based in the Maoist-infested tribal areas of Bastar. In my recent book of short stories titled Silent Realities, I have tried to capture the unspoken frailties, insecurities and impulses of human behaviour. While the novel is ruthlessly realistic, in this story collection there are elements of the unreal and magical.

      I had written a raw draft of the satire included in MSQ in a rush of blood to express my ire at what I see as something going terribly wrong in society and which is making us more divisive.  The story was lying in cold storage till I learned of the proposed anthology, which is when I pulled it out and reworked it for submission.

4.      “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect,” said Anais Nin. What is your view on this?

      Creative writing is based on our experiences and sensitivities. When we finally get down to putting pen to paper to give expression to our emotions and immediate responses, considerable distancing has already taken place, which gives us a newer and more imagined perspective.

5.    What are the kinds of books you like to read? Who are some of your favourite writers, and why?

     I like to read a mix of literary fiction which provokes thought. Themes related to morality, existentialism and social justice interest me. My favourite writers, to name a few, include Dostoevsky, Sartre, Kafka, Marquez, Camus, Hemingway, Guy de Maupassant, Haruki Murakami, Salman Rushdie and Julian Barnes. Of late, I have been reading a fair amount of English translations of regional literature.  I find that I’m more readily able to relate to the characters and situations that are closer home. Recently, I was delighted to discover the brilliant Urdu short story writer, Naiyer Masud.

6.      Do you think that there is a kind of etiquette in writing – between author and editor, between author and publisher, and between author and reader?

     There has to be mutual respect between the author and the editor. Authors cannot objectively judge their own writing and need to place their faith in the editors; by the same token, the editors must draw their own boundaries and know when to leave alone a piece of writing. The publisher acts as the interface between the reader and the author and can advise the author on the nature of the market. But here again the publisher should not pressurize the author to write something just because it is trendy or advise them to copy a bestselling author – that is self-defeating and can kill originality. Readers tend to believe what authors write. The author therefore has a moral obligation to ensure that his or her own writing does not lead to greater social divides, rather it enhances understanding among the diverse people of our fractured world.

7.     Satire holds up a mirror to society. What do you think Satire is important?  What is your approach in writing it?

      Satire uses wit, sarcasm and irony to prick the reader’s conscience through the shock of recognition of the prevailing immorality and social injustice. In a diverse society such as ours where there seems to be growing intolerance, I have resorted to satire as subterfuge and used analogies to ridicule the social prejudices and bigotry. 

8.      What is the difference between satire and humour, in your opinion?

      Humour is good, clean fun written with the sole objective of entertainment and eliciting laughter. Good satire on the other hand has a social objective. It uses biting humour to point out the ills in society and offers constructive criticism.

9.     What is the future of short stories? Which do you prefer – short stories or full-length novels?

      In this fast-paced, digital world where people are scarce of time, I do believe that short stories have a great future. I like reading both short stories and novels – my choice depends on my mood and the author.

                             

10.  You are also a keen artist. Is there a symbiotic relationship between painting and writing?

     The process of writing and painting are quite similar. Both are expressive, creative and challenging, which is why I enjoy both pursuits.  Both require balanced composition and harmonious treatment. Line, colour, form and texture constitute the language and vocabulary of a painting.

11.  Do you think that it is easier for young writers to get published nowadays? If so, why?

     Yes and no! There are many more choices and avenues for young writers, especially among newer publishers including those in the digital space, than what existed a few years ago. At the same time, the larger mainstream publishers have become more selective and are taking fewer risks with new authors.

12.  What lies ahead for you as a writer?

      I am a slow and undisciplined writer. I have begun working on a novel but I have no idea when I will complete it – while I’m fairly clear about the theme and even a few of the principal characters, the plot itself has yet to crystallize in my mind. Meanwhile, I will continue writing short stories.

13.  Do you have a message for your readers? How will they be able to contact you?

      Keep reading and read widely, especially fiction. Besides giving you enjoyment, pleasure and relaxation, reading fiction is itself a creative process. It opens up your mind, compels you to imagine characters and situations, and makes you sit up and think. Reading will make you more tolerant, develop empathy for others, and nurture within you a deeper sense of right and wrong.

      Readers can email me at ranjankaul53@gmail.com. They can also visit my author page on Facebook.

Rapid Fire Questions: In one word

1.      Print books versus e-books

Print.

2.     Favourite cuisine?

Anything that’s well prepared!

3.      A hobby you enjoy?

Reading.

4.      Relaxation technique?

Painting.

5.      Pet peeve? What do you absolutely hate?

Bigotry.

6.      If God gave you one wish now, what would it be?

I’m an atheist, so I don’t have the luxury of wishing!

Thank you so much, Ranjan, for an enlightening interview! I wish you luck for all your future ventures!

 t

Shadow in the Mirror by Deepti Menon

Check all the Books Here

Name of the book: Shadow in the Mirror
Author: Deepti Menon

Read some reviews: 

1. Kirthi Jayakumar
2. Ayan Pal
3. Kavita Singh

The Story:

It all begins with a death. Nita, a pregnant woman falling from her balcony becomes the string that unravels the plot. Her death casts a shadow over many lives; her heartbroken father, her husband and Vinny, a young journalist, drawn in by the whiff of foul play and murder.

What follows are stories within stories, eras and worlds colliding with each other, leaving behind splintered relationships and mesmerizing slices of lives that appear to be drawn together and driven apart by the whimsical threads of destiny.

As events cast their shadows ahead to link the stories of Vinny, Kavita, Roma, Krish and Nita in an unrelenting knot, a journey starts to uncover the truth. What is the secret that links Nita’s death to the other characters? Will Vinny be able to unravel the mystery of Nita’s death?

From intimate diary entries and letters, to bantering over a meal and sharing memories while spring cleaning, this novel de-familiarizes the ordinary, presenting a kaleidoscope of our own pasts, broken edges and pulsating hearts.

You can buy the book @

amazon.in | amazon.com | amazon.co.uk

Check out all the books of Tornado here 

About The Author

Deepti Menon has always believed in the power of the pen. Having done her post graduation in English Literature and her B.Ed. in English, she had the option of teaching and writing, and did both with great enjoyment. She started writing at the age of ten, long before she acquired a Diploma in Journalism. She also had the advantage of being an Army kid, and later an Army wife, and loved the idea of travelling around India, meeting new people and acquiring new skills. She firmly believes that much of her personality was honed during those travels.

In 2002, her light hearted book, ‘Arms and the Woman’, depicting life as seen through the eyes of an Army wife, was published by Rupa Publishers, Delhi. This was written mainly to reveal the warmth and camaraderie within the great institution. She is now working on her second book that is a work of fiction, and not- to-be divulged yet!

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