MOMS-IN-LOVE – (TALES OF INCLUSIVITY) #Blogchatter #WriteAPageADay
Photo Credits: Deepti Menon
February 1984 was a
landmark year in our lives, the year we got married. As they say, in India, one
marries not just the boy but his entire family, and vice versa. My husband was
suddenly hurled into a family of all women… my grandmother, my mother, my two
sisters, and of course, me! Even the pet at home was Coffee, a rather
belligerent female! Or was it Tansi, a cocker spaniel with gnarled hair and a snarly
temperament to match?
Anyway, my grandfather
was the only male in the house, and since he had spent years and years with the
‘girls’, he did not really find it irksome, unlike my husband who was not
really used to so many women in the house. Besides, his mom-in-love and he had
only begun to realise that they were equally hard nuts to crack.
It was a different
life for me as well. I had never lived in any other house but my mother’s, and
now I was spending time in a new house, with a brand-new family… my husband’s
parents, his sister and her husband and their little girl. They welcomed me
with open arms, and I felt quite at home with them.
The day I got
married, I still recall getting into a car with my brand-new husband and
leaving my mother and my sisters behind. Maybe that was the first time I realized
that life had changed. It was an emotional moment and I had tears running down
my cheeks. We were going to my husband’s home where I would be received with
the traditional lamp and welcomed in.
When we got there,
the house was swarming with relatives and there I was in my wedding finery, hot
and flustered.
That was when the
miracle took place. My mother-in-love, for that is what I call her introduced
me to all the people around. Then she told me gently, but firmly, “Go and
change out of your sari, wear something comfortable and go upstairs and sleep
for a while.”
I was so taken aback
that I just gaped at her. She smiled and gestured towards the staircase, and
that is exactly what I did. I went upstairs, wore my comfortable jeans and
knocked off to sleep.
Even today, I think
of how understanding she was, and still is. I cannot think of anyone who would
have said that to a brand-new bride.
Every year, our bond
got stronger, as did my bond with the rest of the family – my erudite
father-in-love with whom I had conversations on books and writing, my lovable
and loquacious sister-in-love with whom I could discuss just about anything and
her husband, my big brother with whom I formed a bond right from the start.
Their little girl has grown before my very eyes, and today as she juggles a
career and takes wonderful care of her husband and her two sons, my heart
swells with pride.
Much later in life, my
mom-in-love and I even started resembling each other, as we are both short and are
blessed(!) with round faces. One day, as we were out somewhere, she ran into an
acquaintance who asked her if I was her daughter. Pat came her reply, “Yes, my
daughter. Married to my son!”
Today, at the age of
90, she prefers to remain at home. We call her the ‘YouTube Rani’ because she
can spend hours watching religious discourses on her tablet, while watching a
serial on television and answering phone calls at the same time. We let her do
whatever she feels like doing because she has earned her right to do so, after
slogging for years and living her life for others.
We talk on the phone
every two days, and I try and visit her as often as I can. It is said that
marriages are made in Heaven, and in my case, I have a special bonus as well…
my wonderful mom-in-love!
What is even more
heartwarming is the bond that both my moms share… when younger, my mom-in-love
would visit my mom, and after lunch, they would go upstairs and gorge on chocolates
and laugh together. Or my mom would go over to their house and spend time
chatting. It was as though the two families had extended themselves into one
happy family.
Today, we are all
older, maybe wiser (!), and the families have grown. My husband, the eldest son-in-love
in my family, has not only got used to all the women in the family, but is no longer
the sole male around. Now he has two co-brothers as well, and when they get
together, along with all the women and children, the noise and the laughter
levels have to be seen, or rather heard, to be believed. Many of their jokes
centre around their mom-in-love, who is one of her kind because God broke the mould
after he created her!
After all, they do
say that a family that laughs together, stays together!
My prayer to the Almighty is to keep these two wonderful moms happy and healthy always! Amen!
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