RUDENESS IS NEVER A VIRTUE! (TALES OF INCLUSIVENESS #Blogchatter #WriteAPageADay
The other day I was sitting in my colleague’s office when a lady walked in. She wished my colleague and sat down on a chair before her. When I ventured a ‘Hello’, she gave me a sidelong glance and a cursory nod, which quite fazed me, because she knew me well and had never ever behaved in quite such an icy manner. Obviously, there were many issues churning within her that, frankly, I did not care to delve into.
The conversation
continued and soon I realized that I was not going to be given the privilege of
being acknowledged by the said individual. My nature being as pacific as the
ocean until I am pushed, I got up and strolled away, because I did not want to
be rude.
When I did return a
while later, I said only one thing to her.
“I wish you well
always, even though I do not think you want to talk to me.” With that, I left,
and by the time I had reached my room, she was history.
Politeness is one of
the virtues that I have been taught from childhood onwards. Being an Army kid
certainly helped. Right from the time I could lisp ‘Good morning’, I was made to
wish all the uncles and aunties in the Unit. A ‘Please ‘ and a ‘Thank You’ went
a long way, and it was later in life that it became clear that these little pleasantries
were not actually ‘little’ but did help oil the path of life in many ways. And of
course, “Rudeness was never a virtue!”
My parents did more
than their bit to ensure that their three daughters learnt the lessons of
politeness, generosity and kindness, not through moral lessons, but through the
way they handled people and situations.
My father, God bless
his soul, was one of the gentlest and kindest of people I have ever met. His
goodness shone through his eyes and since I was close to him, I imbibed many
qualities from him, which I cherish deeply. When he passed away, he left those
behind to enlighten me.
My mother is a feisty
84-year-old. She was born enthusiastic and that enthusiasm shines through even
today. It showed in whatever she did, and as a result, she was able to tread on
roads not commonly taken and excel in all the fields she touched. From her, we,
her daughters, were blessed to receive our boundless energy, our flair in writing,
dramatics and oratory, but above all, her open-mindedness and an iota of her
craziness.
She too emphasized on
the dictum, “Rudeness is never a virtue!”
Today, we sisters are
in different places doing our own things, and when we get together, online and
offline, we have a jolly good time, crack jokes about our better halves and
savour the time spent together. We do not spend time brooding over the slights
and hurts that come our way, because we would rather laugh them all away. After
all, like the story of the man, his son and his donkey, there is no way to
please the whole world. Besides, it just takes too much of energy to do so.
Hence, as I look at
it, the best way is to stay happy, do things which make us happy and be good to
others. Everything else follows automatically. I have seen grumpy souls infect others
around with their grumpiness. I have seen rude retorts getting ruder ones in
retaliation. What is the point of it all, I wonder! Do as you would be done by,
and the world will respond to you, returning bouquets or brickbats
respectively.
I do thank God that I
have been blessed with a life that moulded my personality just the way I wanted
it to. Life in the Army was the first innings. Besides, my better half does a pretty
great job of tethering me down to Mother Earth. He has always the best advice
for me, even if I do not agree with him. In hindsight, however, I do realise
that he is, almost always, correct, much to my chagrin. His dictum is almost
the same as that of my parents.
“Rudeness is never a
virtue.” He does go on to say, “Be firm when required, but never be nasty, for
that is not required.”
So over sixty
momentous years, I have imbibed the best life lesson ever. If something needs
to be done, tackle it with a combination of tact and firmness. If you rush
headlong into a situation like a bull in a china shop, you will end up breaking
not just the china, but probably your own head as well. On the other hand, if you
steer yourself gently through the china shop, you will come at the other end
with a china figurine that you never needed in the first place, but happy!
I can never end a personal
article without a reference to my adorable grandchildren. My daughter too
learnt her Ps and Qs in the Army, and today she continues the same lessons with
her little ones. Her daughter is almost a teenager at the grand old age of six,
groans her mother, and the little three-year-old is as boisterous as his canine
brother. By the end of the day, the three are handed over to the head of the
family, so that Mama can have a well-deserved rest.
However, the dictum
in the family has been passed down like an heirloom.
“Rudeness is never a
virtue!”
So very true. How people behave is a reflection of their inner Serenity or lack thereof. Yet, even knowing that , it is so easy tk fall into the trap of thinking that you are the target of their anger venom indifference and so on. When we place more value on our serenity than anything else , we don't take our "rights" so seriously or their " sliegts" so seriously ! Lovely wrote up Deepti
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