THE JOHANNESBURG DIARIES - INDIA AND SOUTH AFRICA - #BLOGCHATTERA2Z2023

 

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Never ever did we imagine that South Africa, and Johannesburg in particular, would turn into our go-to destination till our daughter, P, got married to a boy whose entire family lived there. 

P and V got married in March 2013 after which she moved to Johannesburg. From 2014 onwards, we, her parents, were like homing pigeons, spending most of our vacations with them.

Once Z and S were born, it became even more imperative for us to make the long journey because our 'grandparent' genes were ignited. Everything revolved around the little ones - their first smile, the first time they sat up, their fledgling steps, the food they ate and just everything about them. 

P, who is a fierce Indian at heart, has retained much of her values and incorporated them in her parenting. Varun is the parent who teaches them by imparting little nuggets of wisdom. As we watch the two of them, it dawns on us that our children do grow beyond us. As I keep telling P, she is a much better mother than I ever was. We were instinctive parents, they are instinctive and knowledgeable to boot.

                                                               Woman's Day

Parenting is parenting, whether in India or South Africa. All parents want the best for their offspring, and they make plans for them. In India, some parents take parenting to the next level - they chalk out their children's past, present and future, turning tense (!!!) If those plans do not come to fruition. As an educator, I have often come across parents so ambitious that they are determined to get their children to take up Science just so that they can pave their futures. 

Sometimes, those children do extremely well in life. However, there are those children who are more inclined to the Arts and for them, this kind of urging, gentle or otherwise, ends up in frustration and depression.

                                                                  They Are the Future

I am amazed at how much children are expected to do nowadays. When we were young, we could study and play, and be happy. Today, I see children struggling with academics, tuitions, coaching classes and their only free time finds them using devices to ease their stress. For all their daylight hours are spent trying to cope with a curriculum that seems to be getting tougher over the years .

Z and S love going to school here in Johannesburg. They do things they enjoy, and learn without being forced to. I was shocked out of my wits when I heard that Z, who has just turned seven, studies four languages in school - English, French, Afrikaans and Zulu. Phew!!! They also have options to learn ballet, robotics, karate, netball, art, gymnastics… as you can see, the sky is the limit. What makes this easier is that they have only around fifteen to twenty-five children in a class.

Little ones in Indian schools are made to sing and dance, get a smattering of reading, writing and speaking. They learn two languages - English and their mother tongue, and Hindi when they are older. They make little craft items, draw and paint, get involved in various sports and co-curricular activities that hone their personalities. The number of children in a class is anything from thirty-five to forty, which makes it a bit more challenging for the teachers. What is important is that they learn to do things collectively, extremely significant when living in society.

What makes India the country she is? The population, the chaotic traffic, the lack of security for women and children and the ensuing problems, of course. 

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However, we Indians have a culture of our own, with our beautiful rites and rituals, our colourful festivals, the different kinds of cuisine in every state and our faith and spirituality that keep us ticking. She has gone through much turbulence and strife over the centuries, but has survived it all. There is no other country as diverse as ours and no other country which has taught the world so much.

South Africa also has its share of beautiful customs and traditions which makes it stand apart. The handicrafts are exquisite, as are the various wonderful tourist spots like the Lion Parks and the Animal Safaris. The locals have music and dance in their blood, and it takes very little for them to break out into either. The cuisine is diverse, the meats exotic – ostrich, kudu, crocodile - you have these and more!

Like India, this untouched and picturesque country also went through its trials and tribulations during Apartheid, a period of intense racial discrimination. While India had the Mahatma, Nelson Mandela was the hero of South Africa. 

 Rising Kashmir

While those days are a thing of the past, we still see a huge chasm between the haves and the have-nots, which has resulted in an upsurge of crime. There are areas which are safe and others which are ‘dodgy’, where it is safer not to be in.

However, what has impressed me most about South Africa is something far removed from all this. Back in India, ‘dowry’ has been a word that has ruined myriad households and caused much violence, causing endless anguish to many. Even if it is a crime today, there are cases where the giving and the taking still exist, even though the word ‘dowry’ is not used. The very concept indicates that men and superior to women and have to be bought.

In South Africa, the concept has been turned on its head. The men need to pay ‘lobola’ which translates to ‘bridewealth’ in Zulu and Xhosa and is an amount of money that has to be paid by the groom to the bride before the marriage can take place. Traditionally, the bride price was paid in cattle, the main symbol of wealth in African society. Nowadays, most people use cash and even electronic transfers.

All I can say is that we have been lucky enough to see two cultures so closely, and every time we ponder, the truth hits us. Human beings are the same everywhere… they have joys and sorrows, they love and they hate, they create families and societies and live out their lives as best as they can, which makes them part of one huge universal family – the human race.

 This post is a part of #BlogchatterA2Z2023.

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